Trick or Treat

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Trick or Treat

October 31st is a significant day for me. I have 3 major memories that I associate with this day.

1. Going out for Hallowe’en as a child living with Type 1 diabetes.

2. October 31, 2000 is the day I dipped my 7 year old son Kurtis’ urine to discover he had 4+ sugar and thankfully no ketones but knew he had developed Type 1 diabetes. I dipped his urine as he refused to let me test his sugar with a glucose meter. I had poked his fingers 2 years earlier and knew this day would come.

3. I became a parent of a child with Type 1 diabetes trying to figure out how to let him enjoy going out for Hallowe’en without allowing his blood sugars to go askew.

This Blog is 1 of 3 parts sharing my experiences with October 31st.

Part 1:

When I was a child there were no pumps, rapid acting insulin or carb counting. My Mom did not have the technology at her finger tips to count carbs, push a button &/or inject & eat the treats. For the first few years, my Mom & Dad would take me out for Hallowe’en. They would use the bag of treats for when I had low blood sugars. I don’t recall having them as a random treat.

I don’t recall how old I was but I was under 10 when there came a time my parents figured I would be old enough to keep the bag of Hallowe’en candy in my closet. They told me I could keep it in the closet in my bedroom on condition that I tell them when I felt “funny” so I could dip my urine…yes…dip my urine!! to test to see if I was negative (a possible low). Then I could ‘treat’ with my treats.

I recall trying to have self control but what child under 10 can keep a bag of candy in their closet & not eat it at will? I understand why my parents did what they did, they wanted to try and incorporate some normalcy for me. They felt by doing this it would help me feel included in choice.

What happened? Each day when everyone was busy I would sneak candy. How did I get caught? My Dad was an avid runner. He always chewed gum when he ran. One day he went to go out for a run and realized he was out of gum. He came to me and asked to take some gum from my Hallowe’en bag. I still remember the panic. I felt horrified. The bag was full of wrappers but nothing else.

Little did I know that my Mom had been perplexed for weeks wondering why my urine was dipping positive for high sugar. After trying to avoid my Dad from going into my closet to get my bag of stash that no longer existed I knew the jinx was up.

I stood there with a full body panic as Dad looked into my bag. Dad was pretty cool. I do believe in that moment in time he knew that him & Mom shouldn’t have allowed this to happen. It was explained to me the implications of what happened to my sugars as a result of my choices. Mom was relieved because now she knew why!! Two very important lessons I learned and interestingly will never forget.

What happened with subsequent Hallowe’ens? It was actually pretty cool! Mom, Dad & I with my little sister & brother would go through our stash as most do. When we did, Mom, Dad & I would negotiate the price of my stash. It was a game. With that money I was allowed to go shopping for my own treats. Off to the local convenience store I would with my $1-$2 and go buy whatever sugar free treats that were offered.

I don’t feel like I missed out. Not once.

Stay tuned for Part 2.

The Stealth Fighter of Diabetes

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The Stealth Fighter of Diabetes

I liken a Stealth Fighter to an undetected low blood sugar. Until I started back on my Continuous Glucose Meter a few weeks ago I thought I was overwhelming tired at times because there was too much going on.

Until I experienced a few incidents…one thankfully I detected & treated by finger poke thanks to the prompting of my fiancé & subsequently, the next detected by CGM.

The first happened shortly after I woke up. Our routine involves enjoying coffee & tea while catching up on local & international events & updates. I became extremely tired soon after reading updates on my computer. By the time I was in the kitchen making eggs, my heart was beating fast & I began to have a hard time breathing…not symptoms I usually have with a low blood sugar. In my mind I reviewed the things that may be overwhelming me. I am forever making a list in my head of the days & weeks ahead. I thought maybe I was getting ahead of myself too much, putting myself in a bit of a frenzy. I realized it wasn’t that, BUT I just couldn’t put a finger on the pulse. As we sat down to breakfast & I began to eat the poached eggs the racing heart & difficulty breathing continued. As I ate my poached eggs, I realized I was having a hard time eating. I felt nauseated…almost like a brick was in my stomach. I began to tap my foot in an attempt to focus on what the issue was. Within a few seconds of tapping my foot my fiancé Steve asked me what was wrong. By this time I had tears in my eyes & a lump in my throat. In my mind I was thinking “What the heck is wrong with me!!”. I said to him, “I don’t know.” He summated what could be causing it. Then he asked if I had checked my sugar. I agreed that was a good idea. I was 3.2 mmol/L!! It didn’t feel like a low I would usually have! Once treated, these crazy, weird symptoms disappeared.

Shorty after, I decided it was in my best interest to start wearing a Continuous Glucose Sensor again. I have to be honest, when I have a sensor in I love it. It truly is the ultimate advancement in technology that I never thought could exist given what I have experienced in 38 years living with Type 1 BUT I have a huge block with taking the time to prepare, insert and calibrate. It’s not that much more work than I do with wearing a pump, but I guess it’s just that one more step or three that I just don’t want to do. The motivation to take those extra steps becomes exponential when experiencing a stealth fighting low like described above.

The second undetected one I had was shortly after I had the first sensor in. It was shortly after breakfast (do you see the morning BG’s as being my source of trouble!). Again, I became tired. Not the same tired I get with other lows…I didn’t think so. I went upstairs to have a shower. I checked the CGM graph to see what my BG was at. It was 5.4 mmol/L. Good! I have my cell in the bathroom for those ‘just in case’ moments. I never stop being a Mom even though the kids are in their 20’s. Although none of them were from my kids I hear my phone ring, text tone and email going off. I border on irritation as I promise myself that for the few minutes I’m in the shower the world & my kids will survive without me having access to my cell, thus me having a peaceful moment in the shower. Still feeling not quite right & overtly irritated given how good natured I usually am, I am not able to put a finger on it. My pump begins to go off. It is alarming like crazy. By this point, I realize I’m quite low. I finish as quickly as I can & get to my pump. As seen in the pic above I am 2.4 mmol/L & still going down!! I put in a temp basal of 0%, put some clothes on & head downstairs to get some fast acting sugar. It took an hour to have the residual symptoms subside. Boy was I ever tired!! It scared me.

It occurred to me that I had been having these incidences many times a week for quite sometime. The reason why I didn’t pick up on the lows by finger poke? Each time I tested when I felt tired except for that day at breakfast, the lowest I tested on my meter was 4.1 mmol/L. Even that morning after my shower my meter only tested to 4.0 mmol/L. Which do I trust? Based on how I felt & the technology I decided that these lows were truly stealth-like. Based on the fact that glucose meters can ‘ideally’ have a variability of 20% in tests, I decided it was time to take action.

It has taken a lot of work in the past 3 weeks to nail it all down, but changes have been made & I notice a huge difference. Be ware of the Stealth Fighter of Diabetes…it is alive, well & undetectable.

 

Today Is Your Day!

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Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

You’ll look up and down streets. Look ’em over with care.
About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.”
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you’re too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any
you’ll want to go down.
In that case, of course, 
you’ll head straight out of town.

It’s opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen,
don’t worry. Don’t stew.
Just go right along.
You’ll start happening too.

OH! 
THE PLACES YOU’LL GO! 

You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.

You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed.
You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you’ll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don’ t
Because, sometimes, you won’t.

I’m sorry to say so
but, sadly, it’s true
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You’ll be left in a Lurch.

You’ll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you’ll be in a Slump.

And when you’re in a Slump,
you’re not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself 
is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked.
A place you could sprain both you elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right…
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you’ll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…

…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a sting of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That’s not for you!

Somehow you’ll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You’ll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you’ll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. there are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don’t.
Because, sometimes, they won’t.

I’m afraid that some times
you’ll play lonely games too.
Games you can’t win
’cause you’ll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you’ll be quite a lot.

And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance
you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek, 
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike
and I know you’ll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

You’ll get mixed up, of course, 
as you already know.
You’ll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life’s
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3 / 4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So…
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea,
you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!

By Dr Seuss

 

I saw a poem posted by someone on Facebook that seemed vaguely familiar but it cited the Author as unknown.  My initial thought was that it was from “Oh, The Places You’ll Go!” by Dr Seuss.  The poem is not from that.  I am still trying to determine why it is so familiar to me.  But, I am so glad I read this again.  Such an awesome book!!  I’m heading to the bookstore tomorrow to buy it and place on my coffee table to read for all who grace our home.

Finding Balance

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Finding Balance

I just completed The Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale.

In 1967, psychiatrists Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe decided to study whether or not stress contributes to illness. They surveyed more than 5,000 medical patients and asked them to say whether they had experience any of a series of 43 life events in the previous two years. Each event, called a Life Change Unit (LCU), had a different “weight” for stress. The more events the patient added up, the higher the score. The higher the score, and the larger the weight of each event, the more likely the patient was to become ill.

Below is the score Interpretation

300+ You have a high or very high risk of becoming ill in the near future.

150-299 You have a moderate to high chance of becoming ill in the near future.

<150 You have only a low to moderate chance of becoming ill in the near future.

Upon taking the survey, it did not consider that I live with diabetes, I have a 19-year-old 'child' living with diabetes who has recently experienced complications, I am still going through court proceedings trying to settle with my divorce, starting two new businesses AND most recently after months of severe undiagnosed pain I finally have a diagnosis in which I will be going for major surgery for in April.

So, not including the above mentioned, the score I 'achieved' is 687. Of the 43 items listed, I have experienced 22 in the past 2 years.

I am not writing this to have you think to yourself "Oh poor Tracy".

I am writing this for 2 reasons:

1. Understanding that everyone has life events that are very stressful. Sometimes when in the middle of it all, as these events pile up one on top of another, it is very difficult to step back and see what has occurred. It is even more challenging to see the positive or how to take care for yourself in the midst of it all. There are many events in life that we cannot change. It is important to accept this and decide ways to find balance by taking care of ourselves.

2. I need to write this to help me. I have wanted to do the survey for a while. I knew the score would be high, so it was not for that purpose. I took it today because I am so tired. So tired, I needed to make myself take the survey so I could sit down & figure how I could find balance among all of it. I am not taking the best care of me as I have in the past. It's time to change that.

The picture posted is from my walk yesterday. I had 2 choices yesterday; sleep or walk. My body felt full of toxins from the stress. I haven't been listening to my body as I should. Although I was extremely tired, my mind urged me to go for the walk. I needed to get the blood flowing and help my body clear out the toxins and my mind.

We ended up driving to a park in the city. We took the puppy and started through the park. I felt like I was in the country. No traffic noise, lot's of trees and snow. We didn't talk much. We both just needed to 'be'.

Initially in my mind, I didn't want to go far. I have an ongoing list in my head of tasks that need to completed at home both on a personal and business level. But as I walked further, I realized that this list never has nor will it be finished. That's life. For this walk I needed to let that never-ending list go and enjoy the moment for my health's sake.

We ended up walking 10 kilometres over 2 hours. Towards the end of the walk, the tightness in my chest and my inability to take a deep breath began to disappear. It felt so good to take a deep breath.

Today we will do the same. I will leave that list behind. I will leave the items I have marked off on the survey behind. I will envision taking these items and tucking them away in a closet only to taken out when absolutely required. But not on the walk.

I urge you to take the survey. Determine where you are at in your life when it comes to stress. Then, decide what you can do to balance these items. Whether it be reading, going to the gym, taking a long walk, yoga, stretching, having a long relaxing bath, lighting some candles and listening to music, playing with your kids, hugging the ones you love.

"Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop." –Ovid

"Its not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it."
–Hans Selye