An Unexpected Anniversary

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An Unexpected Anniversary

October 30, 2000 I am in the kitchen baking up Halloween treats for the kids Halloween parties at school. I loved these moments. The excitement, the energy, the creativity. Halloween was so much fun.

But…that day transitioned into a life I never thought I would ever entertain on October 31, 2000. That was the day I learned I would become the parent of a child with Type 1 diabetes.

On the morning of October 31st I got the kids ready for school. I packed the plastic containers with Halloween baked goods & saw them on the bus.

That afternoon as the kids unloaded off the bus & I walked them in the door asking how their day went & how their Halloween parties went, Kurtis say’s the words a parent does not want to hear.

“I didn’t eat any treats today because I felt sick to my tummy & drank & peed all day.”

I felt the energy drain out of my body. I didn’t even have to test him. I knew.

I asked Kurtis if Mommy could poke his finger like Mommy does to test her sugar. He flat out refused. I was on my own so did not have the help of another adult to convince him otherwise. Luckily I happen to still have Keto-Diastix in the bathroom. After I dipped & confirmed what I already knew with 4+ sugar & negative ketones, I placed the call to my GP’s office. He reassured me that based on the fact he had no ketones, take him out for Halloween as usual but don’t allow him to eat any treats loaded with sugar & bring him in first thing in the morning. At that point we would begin the transition to insulin with education to be a parent of a child with Type 1 & subsequently living with it.

Initially, the next 2 nights were the hardest. Halloween involved me trying to portray it was a normal night out with the kids trick or treating. With the exception that my 7 year old baby had just learned he had diabetes like his Mom. He would have to take needles & poke his fingers & have low blood sugars that didn’t look nice. As we walked up the road, from house to house, Kurtis would throw himself on the side of the road belly first & wail “I don’t want diabetes” or “I hate diabetes.”. I would leave him briefly then say as I tried not to cry “Okay Buddy, l know it sucks. Let’s go to the next house & trick or treat.” I honestly didn’t know how else to be. I knew he had to grieve even though it was about something he didn’t quite understand in it’s entirety but knew starting tomorrow he would begin to learn the essence of what living with diabetes was about. He only understood the external ‘bad’ things with diabetes….severe lows, needles & finger pokes. He didn’t yet understand the other side….how he’d feel being low, high, going to the Dr’s the next day to have blood drawn or the complexity of counting carbs, the demand it would have on his body & mind 24-7-365 & the ridicule he would receive at school for years to come.

The next day was emotionally distressing for both of us. I was the only parent present. His father refused to come home from out of town to support this critical event or his family.

While Cayla went to school, Kurtis & I made our way to the GP’s office. After a lot of coercion we finally tested Kurtis’ sugar by finger poke to determine his fasting sugar was 13.5 mmol/L. I blamed myself. I felt guilty. What have I done to my child?

The GP called the Paediatrician’s office & the hospital to arrange an appointment at the Adult Diabetes Clinic as there was no Paediatric clinic at that time.

We knew the Paediatrician from 6 years prior when Kurtis had an anaphylactic reaction to Benadryl & severely ill with chicken pox in which he almost died at the age of 1. We chatted briefly & said to me…”Mom, you have Type 1 & you’re a nurse, you know what to do. I’d rather not put him in the hospital so here’s the prescription for the insulin.” He gave me the dose to give him & sent me off to the hospital to learn how to carb count.

Once at the hospital I sat with the dietician as she taught me how to carb count. The entire visit Kurtis had marker in hand. Standing in front of a flip chart he wrote time & time again in big 7 year old letters “I HATE DIABETES” “I HATE DIABETES” “I HATE DIABETES”. It hurt so much to watch but I knew it was good for him to get it out. Me? I was on robot mode. Survival. Take it in. Learn it. Function. Sacrifice emotion for taking good care of my baby. Helping him through this time so that he accepted & transitioned into such a terrible diagnosis.

Once home, I explained to Cayla what had happened during that day. She was 9 & a mature 9. She grasped it fairly easily & knew she had to step back & let me care for Kurtis for a little while. Closing into supper time I explained to Kurtis that just like Mommy he will test his blood & take a needle. That’s where it didn’t go so well. Testing his sugar was a bit of challenge but doable. He tested at 32 mmol/L. I explained to him that he really needed his insulin to bring his sugar down as I didn’t want to have to take him to the hospital & have someone else do it. He didn’t care. He just didn’t want the needle.

After about an hour of trying to convince him, going into another room & having a little cry on my own, I called my Mom. Knowing she had been through worse then me with my diagnosis, I asked for her help. When Mom arrived my head was spinning, Kurtis was crying & Cayla was trying to keep the calm in a whirlwind of frenzy. I was also angry because his father wasn’t present in a time we all needed him.

In my mind I can still see Kurtis sitting on the kitchen chair on an angle from the table explaining to me in tears how he doesn’t want the needle & his rationale as to why he doesn’t need it. His eyes swollen with tears pleaded to me & it broke my heart. Thankfully my Mom had already been through the heartache of my diagnosis at age 5. She had raised a child with Type 1.

In her calm, she finally convinced Kurtis to let me inject in his arm.

After I got the kids settled to bed, I cried & cried. I felt it was my fault. I caused this.

How did I move forward? My Mom asked me a question that changed my attitude which helped me transition to a Mom accepting she has a child with Type 1 diabetes. “Would you have had him if you knew he would get Type 1?”

No regrets. It sucks but attitude & the choice to transition to a new life is essential to living life with Diabetes Beyond Borders. This year is another Diabeteversary. October 31, 2013 Kurtis has lived with Type 1 for 13 years. The transition continues.

Making Diabetes Sexy

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Making Diabetes Sexy

Pictured is my “Keeping Diabetes Sexy” bag. If you saw it in my purse you would think it was a make-up bag. It’s pink, it’s pretty, it’s girly, it’s sexy. It has character & looks glamorous. But, that is not the sexiest part of this bag, what is? The contents contained within.

Inside is a back up infusion set, tubing, cartridge, Tegaderm, AAA battery, pen tip, lancet, 1/2 unit pen with rapid acting insulin, test strips, Dex 4 gel, SweetTarts (in it’s own sexy container), ketone meter, ketone strips, BG meter & gum. GUM?!? Yep. What’s the one thing that is so not sexy when you have a high sugar??? Bad breathe!!

So why are these items that are products to support my diabetes in a time of high or low blood sugars sexy? Let me convince you they are by telling you what is not…

1. In 1995 I worked full time at a daycare. Driving home from work I realized that I was going low. All I had with me was a really ripe banana. Cayla & Kurtis were in the car with me. I managed to eat the banana & arrived at a convenience store only to discover I had no money on me. At that time there was no debit, no cell phone. I decided I could make the 15 minute drive home to get the juice I so badly needed. I don’t remember driving home. I could’ve killed my children, someone else or left my children without their Mom.

2. Just this past November we attended a Christmas dinner. We stayed overnight. About 2am I woke feeling very, very sick to my stomach. I tossed & turned until I realized I should run to the bathroom. I didn’t make it. From that time until about 8am I continued to vomit violently. My muscles ached, I couldn’t shake it. My BG’s were between 12-15 mmol/L. I determined they were high because of the stress of vomiting. I thought for sure I had food poisoning as the salmon I ate dinner was a bit ‘funny’. I continued to correct & at one point did see my BG drop to 8 mmol/L. Finally at 8am when I was struggling to breath, my chest felt so heavy, every breathe I took burning like acid, I turned to my fiancé & asked him to take me to the hospital, something was really wrong. It was at that moment I picked up my pump to correct a high one more time & realized I could feel the wet insulin coming through the tubing at the connection of the cartridge. It was only then I realized I was in DKA. Thankfully I had an extra site change, tubing & cartridge with me. I changed it up & took a sufficient bolus to avoid hospitalization. I reversed the DKA fairly quickly on my own. I had no ketone meter & no ketone strips to test & avoid this. So not sexy…my fiancé cleaning up after me every time I threw up not knowing what else to do.

What’s else makes our diabetes look unattractive?

1. Having a low & asking someone for something… anything… because we didn’t have our sexy bag.

2. Running out of test strips & ‘guessing’ BG’s only to find out they were out of target & resulted in being sensitive to someone that was unnecessary…or thinking you’re low when you’re high, treating & ending up being really high…because we didn’t have our sexy bag.

3. Being stressed because the infusion set tore out & now acutely making a Plan B to get insulin by injection or an infusion site….because we didn’t have our sexy bag.

4. Having the insulin pump run out of insulin & no access to any for several hours…by the time you get to some you are very high, feel sick & really, really crappy…ugh!! Not sexy!

5. Having the lancet device in your ‘poker’ bend (believe me it’s happened!!) & have no way to check for a full day because there isn’t a sexy bag with a back up…refer back to #2.

6. Having your infusion sweat off to the point of you having to hold in place for hours because the ‘sticky’ stuff is no longer working or accidentally ripping a stainless infusion set out when taking off your shirt to put on a gown for an x-ray. Sexy is having a Tegaderm & infusion site to to stick it down or replace it.

All these events don’t sound so attractive do they?…quite frankly, if you stood back & watched someone have these things happen AND they had pulled out their “Keeping Diabetes Sexy” bag you would’ve thought to yourself…wow, that person has it together, even living with a 24-7-365 disease…that’s attractive!! AND…what is so good looking & sexy about a plain old blue or black case that stores your pens, meter & pump stuff?? Dress them up, make them yours!!

SO….go shopping!! Have fun picking out a bag that says who you are. Fill it up! It’s time for you to own “_____________(insert your name) Keeping Diabetes Sexy” bag….it’s time to make your diabetes sexy!!

Gaining Perspective

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Gaining Perspective

This is me at age 8. It was 3 years after being diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. I am standing at the entrance of Camp Huronda, a summer camp sponsored by the Canadian Diabetes Association for Type 1 children & teens. It was the first time away from home longer than a day since I was diagnosed with diabetes & hospitalized for 10 days in 1975. I learned to inject myself with insulin within a few days of being at Camp Huronda. From that day forward I didn’t want anyone else injecting me. I liked that I could control how my injections felt & when the needle was going in.

Fast forward to 1987. At the age of 16, one morning my Mom finds me in bed, unresponsive, laying in my vomit. After calls to my Paediatrician & attempts to give me fast acting sugar with no success, my parents rush me to the hospital. The things I remember of that morning are Dad standing me in the snow in my bare feet to get me into the car as I refused to, seeing my church as they drove by it & watching my Mom cry at the foot of my bed in Emerg. A few days later as I lay in my hospital bed I noticed that the nurses caring for me didn’t know a lot about diabetes. I mentioned this to my Mom. To this day it seems almost unbelievable to think my Mom prophesied my future career without knowing how big of an impact I would make in the world of diabetes. When I told her my thoughts, she said to me, “You can change that. You can educate them so they know.” She encouraged me to go into Nursing.

If you go back to several of my Blogs you can read about the many experiences I have had living with diabetes & being a parent of a child, teen & now young adult living with diabetes.

Fast forward to 1999. After working in a Licensed Daycare as the School Nurse & caring for 2 children with Special Needs for 2 1/2 years, I decided to start a Home Daycare so I could be home with Cayla & Kurtis. Within 6 months I had a ‘full house’. It was a very busy time but I loved that I could be home for my children & create a home atmosphere for the little ones who couldn’t be home with their parents. Once Kurtis started Grade 1 I felt it was time to gain some hospital experience. While running the home daycare I completed my Critical Care Certificate. Working at the daycare & running the home daycare taught me so many things; time management, communication, creativity, nutrition, working with Special Needs, how to be calm when chaos is all around.

I still remember my first interview at the hospital. The 2 managers interviewing me mentioned I didn’t have any experience. I asked them how was I going to get experience if they didn’t hire me? I surprised myself that I asked them that question. I wasn’t one to challenge anybody. They were surprised too. That got me in.

After several years of working in several areas at the hospital & particularly the Intensive Care Unit, which I loved, I didn’t like the fact I was caring for people with complications, mostly from Type 2. There was one patient who died from complications of Type 1. It devastated me. She wasn’t much older then me. My colleagues would ask me certain questions about diabetes. I liked that. It didn’t take long for me to realize I was at the wrong end of the diving board. My time in ICU was invaluable. I learned time management, critical thinking, stamina, diplomacy, focus, patience, perseverance, when it was the right time to cry when I lost a patient & when I needed to hold back my tears,. I also learned that there are times that the truth needs to be told no matter how hard it is to hear. Working in ICU made it very challenging for me to keep my sugars in check. A critical situation would drive them sky high & a missed break could bring me low.

In 2002 I attended the JDRF Walk For the Cure. To this day, I don’t know what possessed me to do what I did. Kurtis & I used a Lifescan glucose testing meter. I heard there was a new one on the market & I wanted one for each of us. I walked over to the Lifescan booth & began talking to the rep. He gave me 2 new meters. After a few minutes of conversation, my mouth opened & without plan or thought I asked him if his company was hiring. Huh? What did I just do? It just so happened that he was being promoted & his position was opening. WHAT?!? Timing is everything they say. So it was with this as well. The interview process went smoothly, the offer was ready to be presented when an internal applicant surfaced. As with most companies, he was given the position. How did I feel? I was okay with it. I didn’t think it was the right time. The kids were still young & I had a great job-share position that was flexible with shift work. It worked for our family at the time. The Rep I met from Lifescan told me he would keep me connected & that he did. My foot was in a door I didn’t even know existed.

In 2004 I ended up with one of the best jobs I could ever imagine having. I became a Diabetes Consultant for Novo Nordisk. It was one of the hardest but most rewarding jobs. I learned Type 1 & Type 2 diabetes inside out & backwards. The company kept me current in Clinical Studies & relevant literature. What I liked most about it was meeting Family Physicians for the first time & them telling me they don’t ‘do insulin’. Several years later I had these same GP’s thanking me for teaching them & how much easier it was then they thought. Through out my years at Novo Nordisk my Mom’s words echoed in my mind several times. I educated Nurses, Dieticians, Doctors, Pharmacists and Nurse Practitioner’s. I did business on all levels of health care including hospital contracts & nursing homes. Working at Novo Nordisk helped me learn time management, business planning, triaging, focus, drive, passion, knowledge about every insulin available on the market, knowledge about every oral anti-hyperglycemic agent on the market, every insulin pen, syringe & pen tip available & it’s implications on therapy.

One of the most difficult decisions I ever made in my careers was leaving Novo Nordisk to work for Medtronic. It provided me an opportunity to expand my career, work experience and meet more Health Care Providers working in the field of diabetes. It was a short tenure as Medtronic decided to restructure the Corporation both in the U.S. & Canada. I was one of ~ 100 in Canada who lost their jobs as a result. Being a Territory Manager at Medtronic taught me many skills I needed to become better at or hadn’t experienced. It was a valuable experience despite the outcome. I learned about all of the insulin pumps provided by the medical device companies. I got to know Pumps & Continuous Glucose Monitoring really, really well. Little did I know how much of an advantage that would be. I worked within a team of 3 & communication was essential to follow up & close each sale. I learned how to work directly with the consumer & their needs. Though out the years I learned how to read body language & verbal tone very well. It took a long time but I learned to listen to my gut. For the most part it was right.

After I lost my job at Medtronic, I decided I wanted to leave the world of diabetes. I didn’t know where I wanted to be. I was certain I didn’t want to be an educator. I couldn’t see myself sitting at a desk staring at someones blood sugars, listening to their excuses. Why did I have this perception? I have thought about that a lot. How could I think like that given I live with diabetes? I think that in my mind a diabetes clinic consists of Type 1 & Type 2 together, intertwined…somehow connected but shouldn’t be. I didn’t want to educate like that. They are 2 different animals & so they should be treated as such. It wasn’t the patients fault I felt like that, it is how clinics are structured that frustrates me. So…I went out on my own as an educator & consultant through my company “Diabetes Beyond Borders” to change that. As a result Diabetes Beyond Borders has over 6,700 ‘likes’ on Facebook. I became a Certified Pump Trainer for Medtronic & Accu-Chek. I had a contract with a large on- line pharmacy in which I created marketing materials, provided education on insulin pump infusion sites & cartridges.

I have applied & been through several interviews for diabetes sales jobs. I would’ve taken them if they were offered but I just didn’t feel it anymore. What was I meant to do? Where was my passion?

A few months ago I was invited to a conference. It is called Type 1 Think Tank. It’s mandate is to more or less “think out side the box” to provide better care & outcomes for people living with Type 1 diabetes. I didn’t realize I was that important! I didn’t realize my experiences were so valued. At the conference I met a long time friend & colleague. She is the founder of the Charles H Best Diabetes Centre. I called on her clinic as a Diabetes Consultant & Territory Manager from 2004-2009. My son Kurtis went there briefly after his diagnosis in 2000 before a Paediatric clinic opened closer to home. The founder, Marlene, approached me and asked if I would be interested in a position as a Diabetes Nurse Educator. I never turn down opportunity but I was pensive given it was a 2 hour/day commute & I would be ‘stuck’ inside 4 walls 8 hours/day.

As soon as I sat down to the interview I understood why I had experienced so much throughout the years. This is exactly where I needed to be, where I want to be. I just didn’t know it. I have travelled down a road of learning & ultimately making an impact though all levels of diabetes. It was time to share those experiences with the people that really, really mattered. It was time to share my experiences with the children, teens, young adults, adults & their families living with Type 1 diabetes.

Healing

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Healing

I like to keep my body parts. I figure each one is there for a reason. But, when all other options have been exercised & surgery is the only option….well, reluctantly, I know when it’s time to fold ’em.

I am not new to surgery. I have had 4 surgeries between the ages of 21 – 32. I’m proud to say, I’ve had success with all surgeries & recoveries. It’s a challenge to walk away healthy without infection or complications, especially when living with diabetes.

It’s been 10 years since my last surgery. It’s been almost 20 years since my last major surgery.

When I found out a few months ago I would be under the knife once again, having major surgery with a 6 week recovery time, I decided to be proactive in preparing so my recovery would be uneventful.

I am only 4 days post op so I may be putting the cart before the horse with this surgery but I want to post some considerations about how to prepare before, during & after.

Before Surgery:

1. Gather a reliable support team that can be there for you before, during & after surgery. Make sure your team knows their responsibilities throughout this process. If someone offers to help, this is one time you can’t afford to say no. Don’t try to be a hero. I never heard anyone talking about the time “so and so had surgery & what a champ he or she was going solo, doing it all on their own.”

2. Don’t go crazy cooking, baking & cleaning. What?!? you say? Shouldn’t I have stuff in the freezer & the house spotless for when I come home to recover? Sure, if you were healthy before surgery to do that, it would be ideal. But consider, why are you having surgery? Your body is not running at full capacity. By stressing yourself out making, baking & cleaning you are depleting your immune system to a point that you may set yourself up for illness before surgery (then, it may be cancelled) or cause infection post-surgery. Although it may be tough, go to the local health food store & buy organic, pre-made meals that one of your team mates can heat up. Same with the kids lunches. I’m not meaning pre-packaged boxed/canned garbage…there are a variety of ‘homemade’ soups, sauces & meals available today that have only a few ingredients & are good for you. Just make sure to watch the sodium content…you don’t want to get all puffy & bloated.

3. Which leads me to my next point….eat clean, well-balanced nutritional meals & snacks leading up to surgery. I mean, we all should all the time but if you have lost focus, now is the time to get back on track. If you don’t have a Juicer, I urge you to buy one. Use it often. Eat a variety of fresh, organic vegetables & fruits. Keep your protein lean. Keep your carbs complex & low GI. If you nourish your body properly, it will be ready to perform at a high level of healing during & after surgery.

4. Test blood sugars more often. Keep them within target. Consult with your Diabetes Team to make sure you are running at optimal capacity for diabetes management. High sugars can cause infection and/or slow healing.

5. Be honest during your Pre-Op visit at the hospital about which meds you are taking. I mean, prescription, herbal & homeopathic remedies as well as essential fatty acids. I take herbal & homeopathic tinctures as well as EFA which I had to stop 2 weeks before surgery as they increased my risk for bleeding.

6. If you are physically active until this point, if the Specialist agrees it is okay, keep doing what you do or alter it to accommodate to your circumstance. I was not able to be as active as I used to be but I made sure to walk 5 – 10 km each day to keep my heart, lungs, mind & muscles working.

7. Get a minimum of 8 hours of sleep a night.

8. Drink a lot of water. More than 8-8oz glasses a day.

The Night Before Surgery:

1.  Pack a cooler bag of simple, instant food that is healthy & wholesome for your hospital visit. Below is what I packed in mine:

– Nature’s Path Organic Instant Oatmeal Plus Flax
– (2) glass jars of Green’s Juice I made with my Juicer
– (2) 1/4 cup containers of hemp seed to add to my oatmeal
– (2) containers of 2 tbsp of Skinny B Breakfast Cereal
– (2) containers of 2 tbsp of Holy Crap Breakfast Cereal
– (2) single servings of plain Greek Yogurt

The Day of Surgery:

1. Ask your surgery to be booked first thing in the morning. You will be asked to have nothing to eat or drink the night before. Some of your diabetes meds may be held. But, with the risk of fasting comes the risk of a low sugar. Being booked in the morning gives you the opportunity to have an IV put in place so that if you have a low blood sugar the staff can give you sugar through it.

2. Remember to breathe deeply, often. Stay calm. Getting anxious over the unknown & probably what won’t happen will raise your blood pressure, heart rate & blood sugar. All the hormones released that cause this will not help with the healing.

3. When you feel yourself getting anxious, visualize what you would love to do 6 weeks from now. Imagine yourself having a successful operation & healing process. Envision how much better you will feel afterwards.

3. Ask questions. Although they may seem dumb to you, they really aren’t.

4. Educate the team in the hospital about your diabetes. They don’t know as much as you do. They can’t! They don’t live with it.

5. Be your own advocate. If something doesn’t seem right, speak up.

The Hospital Stay:

1. Be aware of what’s on your food tray. For the 2 days I stayed, I was presented every processed juice & flavour of jello imaginable. Was that going to help my healing? Nope. It would just spike my sugars. I resorted to my cooler of food I brought. My Greens Juices got me through the first 24 hours. The oatmeal, hemp, yogurt & Skinny B got me through the rest of my stay. The nurses admired that I advocated for myself by bringing the cooler of food.

2. Take the pain meds. Again, don’t be a hero. No pain, no gain does not work. Pain releases hormones that will cause your sugars to go up….and your blood pressure and your heart rate…get it? 🙂 You will not get addicted.

3. Sleep and move. Sleep as much as you can. As soon as the nurse says it’s time to get out of bed, whether you just stand up or take a few steps, it is important to move. It gets the blood flowing which helps your surgical incision heal.

4. Test, test, test. The hospital staff will do that for you a lot too, but I bring my own meter as back up as well. It may not be calibrated to the hospital lab but at least I can report to them if it’s not time for them to test & I know something is off with my sugar. I also wear a Continuous Glucose Meter paired with my pump.

5. Be aware that the grogginess from pain meds can mask a low blood sugar.

6. Be aware of your body. Listen to it. Trust your gut. You know you best!

7. Drink lots of water! LOTS!!

Recovering At Home:

1. Abide by what the instruction sheet & the nursing staff have said. Don’t push yourself. You will not push yourself closer to recovery but closer to a risk of infection & slow it down.

2. Sleep a minimum of 8 hours a night, if your body says to go to bed at 8pm, do it.

3. Nap when you’re tired.

4. Be as mobile as your Doctor has permitted you to be.

5. Inspect your incision(s) daily. If they start to look red, inflamed or have discharge, you need to call your Doctor right away.

6. Test, test, test. Keep your sugars within target. I’ll repeat this again….high sugars will slow the healing process & promote infection.

7. Eat clean, eat well. Keep up with the Greens Juice. Eat lots of vegetables & fruits. Eat lean protein. Keep to low GI, complex carbs.

8. Call on your Team. Refer to #1 “Before Surgery”.

9. Drink lots of water. LOTS!!

These are general guidelines. Your circumstances may be unique & there may be some suggestions I have made that the Doctor has advised against or differently. Please listen to your Doctor. He & you, know your circumstance best.

All I Ever Wanted – My First of Two

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All I Ever Wanted -  My First of Two

Pictured is days after Cayla was born on June 18,1991. She looks abnormally fat, doesn’t she? She is in the Newborn Critical Care Unit. That is the look of a Macrosomic baby. She was SO sick. I was very sick as well, but not related to diabetes.

In 1990 when I found out I was pregnant with Cayla, I lived with diabetes for 15 years.

At that time I found out I was pregnant I was in my 3rd year of Nursing in College. I was only in College because my Mom told me I should get a post-secondary education “just in case”. She told me that as a woman it’s always good to have an education for when I ever needed it. I didn’t see the point at the time & so much so I was initially kicked out of my 1st year of Nursing. I cared so little about having a post secondary education. I was in love & I just wanted to get married & have a family. That’s all I cared. Before re-starting back into the last half of my 1st year, I married. That helped me re-focus on achieving the education I ‘should’ have.

In the second year of Nursing I did a rotation in the Labour & Delivery floor. Ultimately I helped with several deliveries. I ached for a baby. I wanted to be a Mom SO bad.

At that point, I had 2 goals.

1. Finish my Nursing with honours. My goal was a result of being ‘told’ I couldn’t do something. That wasn’t true, but I saw it that way. I saw it as “they kicked me out, I’ll show ‘them'” I would finish it & with pizzaz.

2. Get pregnant.

Anyone who knows me understands that when Tracy wants something, Tracy will do all the right things & take all the roads needed to achieve it. It takes some painful learning, but I get there in time.

What resulted?

1. Tracy became pregnant 2 months into the 3rd year of Nursing.

When my classmates told me it would be near impossible to finish my year out (my due date was the 1st week of July) or ask me how was I going to do it with diabetes….it made me dig in my heels deeper. I would do it all!! I would graduate from Nursing with Honours, have my baby, write my Nursing exams, become a R.N. & be the best Mom ever.

The Diabetes Complications & Control Trial had yet to begin. There were no guidelines for pregnancy. I had not seen a Diabetes Specialist in years. Thankfully I went to my Family Physician within 6 weeks of suspecting I was pregnant. Back then, the home tests to decide pregnancy were not reliant so early. By blood test, the physician confirmed I was. He immediately referred me to an Internal Medicine Physician who specialized in diabetes. It was not an easy pregnancy.

The variables:

1. My long-acting insulin therapy consisted of NPH morning & supper (today all nighttime insulin is injected at bedtime to avoid missing the coverage of the Dawn Phenomenon causing sometimes severe low blood sugars in the hours shortly after midnight).

2. My short-acting insulin therapy consisted of regular insulin, once at breakfast, once at supper. Humalog had not been launched yet. I knew by how sleepy I was after meals that the regular insulin was not covering my needs. Sometimes, I would take very small doses of regular at lunch to see if it would help. I look back & see how incredible it was that I knew if I could coordinate my meal insulin to my meal sugars I would feel better. Unfortunately, it just resulted in severe lows as it stacked throughout the day.

3. I began my Clinical Consolidation shortly after I became pregnant. I worked 40 hours/week on shift in the hospital. As well, on the weekends I wasn’t on shift at the hospital, I was working as a cashier at a grocery store to help pay the bills. Weekly hours I put in between consolidation & work until I was hospitalized at 32 weeks was in excess of 45-50 hours, not including assignments & studying.

I remember the wild swings in blood sugars. I remember panicking every time the meter I used since I was 11 showed a high or low. I knew it would hurt my baby. Even then hypoglycemia protocol was not in place. If was low, I panicked as I always did. I would drink juice & then eat & eat. What resulted was a high so high I had to take regular insulin to correct in fear I would hurt my baby. As time progressed with the pregnancy, I learned how to manage certain issues. A low treatment was a couple of mouthfuls of milk. That seemed to keep my sugars more stable then before. I decreased the amount of carbs I ate. This eliminated the wild swings.

Unfortunately, it was too late, it did not save my first-born from the complications of a poorly controlled pregnancy.

1. As soon as Cayla was born, her blood sugar was tested.  She went from 11 mmol/L (198 mg/dl) to 2 mmol/L (40 mg/dl) in a matter of minutes.

2. Throughout my illness in the hospital, not related to my diabetes, I gained 45 lbs of fluid. Cayla gained fluid as well. Upon birth she weighed 9 pounds 11 ounces because of this. When they tried to insert an IV to bring he sugar up, they had difficulties getting a vein.

3. She was very, very ill with jaundice. Not only was she placed under lights, but her body was wrapped in a specialize blanket that emitted extra phototherapy. My baby was SO yellow. They poked her little heel with a razor blade too many times. I cried as she shook & screamed when they did it. My saving grace was I saw she had spunk!!

What I describe are the behaviours & control that lead to what Cayla was born with…Macrosomia. She & I were so fortunate, she did not have any respiratory problems. She was only in CCU for 1 week. Each day they told me I couldn’t have her in my room (I was too sick to go home too) I cried. I just wanted to be a Mom.

I took mental notes of my experience with my pregnancy with Cayla. I used them to my advantage with Kurtis.

Look for my post tomorrow on my pregnancy & birth of Kurtis.

How to Prove You’re Cool with Diabetes

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How to Prove You're Cool with Diabetes

“Did you make any friends?”

After the first day of Kindergarten or starting a new school there are many questions to ask. The answers are usually pretty straight forward. Kids usually come home from school telling of events that occurred with their friends. Some days it is the story of “So and so is not my friend anymore, they did this to me…” or “Look at the picture so and so made for me.” or “So and so gave me their cookies and I traded them my chocolate milk.”

Children are compassionate and caring. They are resilient. Children are honest but also cruel.

As a Mom, I was witness to a mob mentality with a group of Grade 4 boys.

As I mentioned in my blog yesterday, after speaking with the children in Kurtis’ class, it seemed some of the kids would play with him. He now had a small group of friends. Once they knew they couldn’t get diabetes by touching him, they were okay with playing with him.

In October of his Grade 4 year I started Kurtis on an insulin pump. Thankfully his teacher was incredible. She was a classmate of mine from primary and high school. She was very proactive in Kurtis’ care and the learning curve associated with learning how to pump. At that time I worked part-time in the hospital as a nurse in the Intensive Care Unit. The teacher knew she could call me at work or home for questions or concerns. The calls initially were frequent.

Upon starting Kurtis on his pump, I opted to start him on an angled teflon infusion set. I tried a straight-in set but they kept bending causing sudden, extreme highs. I felt the angled set would give us more consistent results. The introducer needle was large enough, depending on where it was inserted, it could be quite uncomfortable. I put EMLA cream on his site one hour before inserting so he wasn’t feeling the discomfort. It worked beautifully.

One afternoon I received a call from his teacher. She sounded excited. She wanted to tell me that Kurtis’ infusion set had ripped out during recess. She was so proud of him. There was no EMLA cream in his kit. Kurtis decided he would insert the Silhouette without it. Mrs. Sperry was awesome. Instead of sending him down to the office or nursing station to change it, she would over see the change. The class was curious to watch.

At this point, the ‘cool’ boys were not as interested in playing with him. This bothered Kurtis. He wanted to play the sport games they played at recess. He didn’t want to just walk around the yard, he wanted to be active. I told him although I understood his need. I also encouraged him to start his own games in the yard, but he wanted to play with the athletic, cool boys.

During the phone call I was told that the kids were so impressed with what Kurtis had done. They talked about it all afternoon. Kurtis had put a really big needle in his stomach. He was SO brave.

Not one Certificate of Achievement could ever make Kurtis feel as proud and accomplished as that day. Days and weeks later, the Grade 4 ‘cool’ boys began to invite him to play at recess. The icing on the cake for Kurtis.

As a parent I had mixed feelings. To me it was a form of intimidation. A child having to go through a form of initiation to be friends with children so he could gain the acceptance and confidence he needed to feel good at school. I understand this happens with all children to some degree, with or without diabetes. I have seen it in a milder form with my daughter.

I had to accept that this was part of learning and life with diabetes. Since those days of Grade 3 and 4, I have hoped and prayed that Kurtis would learn that he should never have to prove himself to anyone because he lives with diabetes. It’s hard to convey that to a child, especially when they feel isolated from their peers because of it. As with many things our children experience, we can teach and guide them, but sometimes they just have to touch the stove to understand it’s hot.

Tomorrow my blog will be on the situations and concerns about Kurtis’ safety with his diabetes at school.

Eden’s Journey

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DBB FB Eden Blog Pic 1

Hey Everyone! My name is Eden, I am 21 years old, a student, a girl trying to lose weight and well a Type 1 Diabetic. I thought I would share my weight loss journey, and all the tips and tricks that I have found helpful. But first a little about me, and my journey to where I am.
I was diagnosed when I was 17 years old with type one diabetes. It does not run in my family, and I was the “lucky” one who got it ha ha. When I was younger I also battled with a disease called Graves disease, which weakened my immune system (luckily I am still in remission), and the doctors believe that this is why I got Diabetes. While staying in the hospital, I realized that I am going to be on my own dealing with this disease. I had horrible hospital staff, uneducated people trying to teach me about Diabetes! One nurse thought I get my insulin after my meals, and another decided to tell my mother who was in a state of panic, that I may go into a coma at any given minute if my sugars were low….needless to say my mother had a breakdown. It was not a great start to say the least, and has continued to be a crappy situation. So ever since I was diagnosed, it’s been me, my body, and well the internet trying to figure this whole thing out!
So I thought I would write a daily blog post about my weight loss journey I am currently on  It is hard for diabetics sometimes because unlike “normal” people, we have to make sure our sugars are constantly ok…no highs or lows, and our heart rate is okay. I hate using the word “normal” but I think you understand what I mean. I am still trying to figure out what works best for my body, but I have learned A LOT throughout my journey thus far. I have always been slightly overweight, but when I was diagnosed I gained almost 35 pounds….I was shocked. All this happened during the month of my prom and graduation. Needless to say…I hated the photos! I was 205 pounds and I felt depressed, and I still battle with these feelings. It took me a long time to start being healthy. During October 2012 I joined a local nutrition program, and I loved it! I did not follow it completely and I did not do a lot of physical exercise, but I still dropped 10 pounds within the first 2 months! I was so happy, and during December and the Christmas dinners….I lost track of my program. It suddenly clicked in me that why am I doing this to myself? My university graduation is around the corner, and I do not want to feel the same way I did in high school! So in January I started to follow the program. It is a bit hard to change how you eat and I am still learning 😛 I go to the gym 4 sometimes 5 days a week (hard with my schedule of 6 courses, work and homework!) But of course I have had a bit of a battle with my sugars which I think I finally “cracked the code” on. Needless to say I am 174 pounds now….31 pounds down from my heaviest! I would like to be around 145-150 pounds for my height (5’6). My graduation is on May 31, 2013 and I am hoping to get to 158-160 by graduation  It is going to be hard, but hopefully you will all support me  I will share photos of myself, and foods I make….I LOVE COOKING! And anything else I find interesting  Hopefully I inspire some of you with my story, and with my future posts  I won’t lie, it is difficult, but it is not as hard if you have someone you can connect with who understands what you are going through  You can follow me on instagram edenalexandriadaly to see my photos day-to-day 
Until Tomorrow!